As Another Birthday Approaches
I’ve been feeling a little melancholy lately, and was having a hard time figuring out why until it finally hit me – my birthday is quickly approaching. And then my sad brain took it one step further (because that’s what your brain does when you’re sad, drags you down a bit deeper). I realized that I have been single for every birthday since I entered my thirties (and I’m coming up on the tail end soon).
I know a lot of single/divorced people complain about the holidays being lonely, but tonight it occurred to me that for the past seven years, my birthday has been the loneliest day of all for me. No offense to family and friends (and I have the best a girl could ever ask for), but there’s something about having someone special who chose to love you of their own free will doting over you on your special day.
While most might say I have a tough exterior, the truth is I am sentimental and a hopeless romantic at heart. I remember my mid-twenties, and waking up to a smile and that first “happy birthday” when I did have that special someone in my life. I remember the thoughtful gifts, dinner plans that I didn’t have to make, and ending the day in a warm embrace.
So, I’m bracing for what I hope will be my last single birthday (God, do you read my blog by any chance?), and like most adult birthdays, it will be over before I know it and life will return to normal. In the meantime, since emotions are never right or wrong, I’m not going to fight the sadness, but rather let it run its course in the hopes that it will be followed by a giant wave of happiness. And to all of the other single moms out there who will also celebrate their birthday alone this year, happy birthday to you, from my heart to yours.